All through my life, my rebel self has hated the word ‘NO’, wanting to be in control. Especially so, when my brain saw no real valid reason for the saying of it. Hearing ‘NO’, thrown down, became an immediate challenge, taking my thinking, straightaways to, ‘how’.
It was a state of mind that saw me achieve many things that looked impossible. However, it was also responsible for a lot of wrong detours, when not heeding advice.
Then, I had my experience of seeing the ‘light’ as ‘they’ say. A story for another time, but briefly, I encountered the ‘Heavenly Father’ through Jesus his son in a tangible way, as opposed to being born into my traditional church. After which, I was immediately filled with a desire to seek out his ways for my life.
Desperate to discover his thoughts, I began devouring the words in his bible. Day and night, front cover to back cover, in three different versions, over three months, I read. My visiting mother commenting, I would go ‘mad’ if I didn’t stop made me laugh, but not, stop .
Traversing, book after book, through many time frames, countries, and characters whose bloodlines, and life events, all interwove together, left me astounded and amazed. The overall tapestry they created, revealed to me God’s master faith plan for his creation and his son Jesus.
I was in awe at discovering this wealth, of knowledge and wisdom, that had been available for thousands of years, yet sadly, no one in my family knew anything of it. As I read, my journey of faith, to allow God’s holy spirit to conform my life to the words revealed in his book, began.
I at first thought the road was easy going, until I got further along and came to a major hurdle. My all powerful God had said, ‘NO’ setting up a conflict with my old rebel thinking. Unable to understand his reasons why, it caused me to struggle for a long time.
I was stuck at the lesson of trusting he knew best and, learning to ‘let go and let God’, even in the most painful of situations. The minor events that I did manage to surrender control of, I noticed brought about a strong feeling of ‘Peace’ that saturated my mind and renewed my ‘Strength’.
Desiring to have that feeling on a daily basis, I eventually got to, okay God if that’s your way, I will trust, even when it makes no sense. Accepting God said ‘NO’ is not always easy. However, leaving things in his hands, trusting his love only wants the best for each of us, allows his, ‘Peace’ to settle our mind, for future battles.